Apologies for being so quiet lately; life got on top of me for a bit (bloody depression - at least it was the regular kind, not the post-con depression I was half-expecting since Melgeddon), but I went out last night to see an old acquaintance perform some live music, and that seems to have gone a long way towards balancing out my mood/state-of-mind.
She and I had a brief catch-up chat between sets and something she said (in regards to her own relationships) stuck a chord with me: “You have to do what’s right for you.” It’s a tellingly obvious aphorism, but in light of developments over the last few months, maybe it’s advice that I could put to good use. I mean, I don’t expect or deserve happiness just by virtue of sitting on my behind and wishing for it, but I’m willing to put the effort in towards that goal.
Not to toot my own horn, but ever since entering the Top Geek competition earlier this year, I’ve worked hard on personal development/growth, and it hasn’t always been easy. Acknowledging one’s shortcomings is difficult, yo, and bitching about it on here would only serve to amplify the problem. I just tend to shut up and get on with it, but it’s eventually paid dividends. Maybe I needed to have my arse kicked a few times to get there, though…but better that than a virtual Greek chorus telling me I was wonderful and without fault.
The truth is, it felt good to remember how to be social again, both last night and at Melgeddon. I felt like myself again, after second-guessing myself for such a long time…or rather, a better version of myself, compared to a couple of years ago.
I hope this guy sticks around.